Adam's Recovery Story
"Sobriety gave me my life back" - Adam
At the ripe age of 18, I began my highly toxic relationship with alcohol and addiction. I didn’t start at severely early age as most, but it was like a small flame that soon turned into a destructive wild fire.
I had suffered a handful of severe head injuries while in high school and a few thereafter. In no way am I blaming these concussions for my bad decisions, but it’s safe to say, that with the new science and research about them, that it very well played a large part in it.
After so many rehabs for the head injuries and medications to ease the pain of a now altered view of the world post-confusions, I began to self medicate. It wasn’t intentional, but in hindsight, that exactly what I was doing. Alcohol gave me a liquid fix to so many issues that I was able to shove under the rug. Like a mask, I was introduced to social scene I loved with inhibitions and anxieties that go along with it, “cured” with this magic potion. I was in balls to the wall, party mode. I was the guy who did the outrageous and crazy things because booze allowed me to. I was the Jekyll to my Hyde.
Soon, I was introduced to drugs. Methamphetamine was an uncharacteristic step downwards for me to take and something I knew nothing about, but again, alcohol let me bypass an inhibitions I had. I got a DUI at 21 in 2009, and swore off alcohol forever, a promise to myself I would soon break. The next few years would become a blur.
By 2012, after the loss of my Great Grandmother and my beloved Grandfather, a loss that further fueled my addiction, I had the life changing news that would become a father. My drug addiction was exposed and led me into rehab. Although I remained sober at the birth of my daughter, I relapsed and was non-existent for month. Something finally clicked and I got clean by May of the next year, a clean date I’ve maintained to this day.
I was on the mend and get healthier, but I began to lean even more heavily on the bottle. I began to drink 24/7, anywhere and everywhere. I gained sixty pounds and was, quite literally, a drunk. The deterioration of mental health brought me to suicidal thoughts and ideation and I ended up in a 72 hour mental hospital hold after a alcohol-fueled night that found me in handcuffs. This, one may assume, would be the end. I wish it was.
I went a whole year further, back on the booze, something that I now required to function. I was kicked out of the house, reasonably so, and I soon began hanging out with old friends who I could drink with and hopefully blend in. I was facing a divorce, was jobless, and I continued to down myself with alcohol. The insanity of it all is mind boggling, but that’s where the abuse of alcohol leads us. I was just too blind to see it.
My hall pass of hanging with old friends and going all out with the drink lasted only a few months. Even my drinking buddies had had enough. I found out the hard way that these friends, my wife, and family were all right: I had to quit. This was the tough love I needed, it just took too long for it to get through this thick wall of bottles and cans that I was hiding behind.
I was thrust into the face of the truth that was avoiding so long: I had to change. I wasn’t the father or husband I should be, I wasn’t the friend people deserved, and I wasn’t someone who my family believed I could be. Alcohol robbed me of so many years and had become the only thing I cared about. At first it was bars and events, but I had become an addiction that didn’t allow me a moment with out at least an ounce of alcohol on my system at all times.
I began the seemingly impossible journey to sobriety with the most simplest of ways: on step, one moment, one day at a time. I quickly surrounded myself with people who where on the same path as I, people who understood and offered a great amount of support. It wasn’t perfect, but eventually I got it. From January 10, 2017 to this day, I have been miraculously sober.
To those struggling on this journey, or just beginning, I say to you: keep going, it’s the best thing you can ever do for yourself. I have the priceless gift of being able to inspire others and offer all the support I can. No matter how far I climb, I’ve always had a hand out reaching for those who need help. It is a beautiful circle of love and support in this community. Grab hold of it, soak up all the insight and tips available, and fill up your toolbox with tools that can help you achieve what we are all striving to do: to find ourselves again and become the best version of ourselves we possibly can be. It takes daily effort, but you’ll soon find out that it doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger.