Other People’s Feelings

When People Make it About Them

Sometimes when we tell people we’ve quit drinking, they’ll turn the focus on how that impacts them. It can be a strange feeling; you’ve told them something incredibly personal about yourself, and suddenly they’ve made your choice about them. Maybe they’ll lament the loss of their “drinking buddy,” or they’ll make a big deal about how weird they feel about being around you if you’re not drinking. If their reaction doesn’t feel supportive to you, you can gently remind them that your choices are for you and you alone. It may just also be helpful to remind ourselves that every person has their own “stuff” and their projection of that onto you doesn’t diminish your path.

At the end of the day, the most important thing to do is to protect your decision to not drink. If that means addressing their reactions, then feel confident expressing your needs. If that means just understanding that it’s not about you, then release their negative energy and focus on your recovery. You are choosing the best path for you, and that’s the most important thing.