Flow + Relationships

Flow Relationships

When we begin to utilize flow state intentionally—to foster it, to seek it out, to figure out what sort of activities get us there—we can begin prioritizing it in so many different areas of our lives. And since we know that flow increases happiness and satisfaction, it makes pretty good sense that we might want to determine how best to utilize flow within relationships, doesn’t it?

Thinking about flow in the scope of human relationships probably automatically brings up certain memories for you—experiences with another person where you completely lost track of time, you were totally engrossed in what the two (or more) of you were doing, and it just felt really good. (Jot those down right now, if you’ve got some paper handy! We’ll come back to that momentarily.)

In this context, probably one of the first things you thought about was the last time you got completely lost in good conversation with someone. Perhaps it was a friend you haven’t seen in years and y’all picked up like no time had passed, or maybe you and a partner spent hours dreaming about the future. You and this other person found flow, together.

And we can extrapolate this experience to so many different kinds of human interactions and relationships, can’t we? You’ve likely experienced flow in conversation, in organized sports, in social movements, in community events. You may have even experienced flow in the context of sex with a partner—good sex and the experience of flow kind of go hand in hand, don’t they?