Developing Satisfying Relationships
This may require us to step up within the relationship; if our partner is putting more energy into the relationship, and it’s one we want to maintain, then we seek out information about how we can better match their energy. What they need from us for it to feel like a satisfying relationship for both of us, how we can better show up for them. This can benefit us as well; there’s a certain cognitive dissonance, a guilt, to knowing you’re not showing up fully within a relationship.
And if we feel the dissatisfaction on our end, if we feel that the other person isn’t investing in the relationship like we are, we practice speaking up for our needs and communicating clearly what it is that would make it a more satisfying relationship. We do so knowing that it may or may not be received; this is part of the continued practice of living in authenticity and standing in our full selves. The relationships that are meant for us will rise to the occasion.
We also get to build a clear picture of what we desire out of future relationships, and go into new connections with a confidence in what we deserve out of an energetically balanced partnership. This makes getting clear on what we want our relationships ahead of time even more important; when we can have a framework of what we believe a fulfilling relationship looks like to us, it saves us time and energy when meeting new people.
Today, take some time to braindump every word that you associate with a fulfilling relationship. Don’t think too hard—just set a five minute timer and try to write the whole time. What comes up for you? Are there any themes you’re able to identify?
Chapman, G. (1992.) The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing.