Building Resilience to Shame

Take some time today to consider Brené Brown’s Shame Resilience Theory, which includes four parts for working through a shameful experience:

1. Identify the shame or shameful experience and describe the shame - how it feels in our bodies, what emotions it brings up, does it taste, smell, feel, sound, look like anything specific? Where do we hold this shame?

2. Contextualize the shame: what outside influences give context to this shame? What expectations is it based in?

3. Connect with a trusted friend, family member, or professional (connection itself is a step!)

4. Deconstruct the shame through connection and speaking it aloud

Shame thrives in darkness, secrecy, and isolation. It also drives all of these things. When we speak shame aloud, whether to one person or a hundred, and allow them to say “me too” or “you’re still worthy,” we step out of the darkness and into the light. This is incredibly impactful as we live alcohol-free, because so often we feel so alone when we can’t “handle” alcohol like we think we’re supposed to. When we begin to share our story, we realize we’re not alone. And when we share our story, we may even help someone else realize they aren’t alone either. That is the power of shame resilience.